In her own words...
Most everyone is used to seeing me with a smile with two big dimples on my face. However, no one really knew what was hidden behind that smile and my cheerful demeanor for such a long time. A rush of sadness ran through my body, and the sparkle in my eyes was beginning to fade, and there was no way of hiding it anymore, but I knew that I just couldn’t give up. No one had a clue about what was going on in my life, and I was often misunderstood. Most people didn’t realize the adversities and obstacles I was presented with at a young age.
At the beginning of my high school career, I was given what I believe to be the worst news ever. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was the most devastated and scared fourteen-year-old ever. I could not believe this was happening to my family; everything seemed so surreal. I would go to school with the biggest smile on my face, but deep down I was sorrowful and tormented. I was physically in class, but not mentally present. It was impossible for me to focus when all I could think about was my mom. I didn’t know if that morning was the last time that I would ever see her, or if my, “I love you”, was the last one she was going to hear from me. Was she in pain? Had she eaten anything? Was she taken to the hospital? These were just some of the thoughts that plagued me daily.
I have always had a strong dedication towards school and knew this was not the time to give up. Now, more than ever, I had to make sure to make my mother proud. It was my responsibility to be the least of her worries. It was two months into freshman year when I realized that school was a safe place that distracted me from my home life. I began working harder than I ever had and dedicated my energy towards assignments and tests. I remember being bedside doing my homework while my mom was admitted for weeklong stays in the hospital due dehydration and her iron levels being low. It was hard seeing her in that state, and I have and will always have a vivid image of her in that hospital bed. Chemotherapy would take a toll on my mom every three weeks; it was too strong for her small body. Chemotherapy treatments were the biggest blessing, yet also a curse, and I felt helpless watching her lose the ability to take care of herself. By her second round of chemo, my mother’s hair began to fall out, and her trademark long, black hair would no longer frame her beautiful face. The mother I knew for my fourteen-years was changing before my eyes, and I couldn’t keep up with it. I spent many nights in my room crying and praying for my mom to get through this. The journey to remission is never easy, but with family, the road is less lonely. For two years our family united together and gave our mother the support she needed through her darkest days. In July of 2018, our mother finally got the good news that her cancer was in remission.
I often reflect on the number of doctors and nurses I met during this journey. This was life-changing for me, and what I experienced changed my whole perspective on life. At one point I saw myself in a classroom teaching high school math. However, a five a.m. alarm, a pair of scrubs, and a stethoscope around my neck is what I imagine my future to now be. For many doctors and nurses, they see people on their worst day and in their worst state. They are not often recognized for their life-saving work that also puts them at risk themselves. If it had not been for these superheroes caring for my mother, I would not appreciate the daily sacrifices these people make. I think of the families that have to say goodbye too soon to loved ones, and it is my hope that I can be a part of saving a life that otherwise would be taken in a moment.